


Pleased to meet you.

by afoolwhodreams



Category: Dickinson (TV)
Genre: Best Friends, Canon Compliant, Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Cute, F/F, First Kiss, First Love, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Meet-Cute, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 18:55:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25980196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afoolwhodreams/pseuds/afoolwhodreams
Summary: The story of how Sue and Emily met, and how they fell in love.
Relationships: Emily Dickinson/Susan "Sue" Gilbert
Comments: 19
Kudos: 153





	1. "You know Shakespeare?"

“This is such bull-“

“ _Emily_!”

Mrs Dickinson reprimanded her daughter, glaring at her as she unceremoniously slammed a basket full of vegetables in her hands.

“I just wish you’d let me finish writing instead of forcing me to go grocery shopping with you”

Emily whined, trailing behind her mother.

“I’m happy to shop with you, mother!”

Lavinia chimed in with a genuine smile, skipping next to Emily.

“You’re fourteen now, Emily, it’s high time you let go of that childish scribbling and start preparing to be a capable housewife.”

“It’s not childish. I’m a poet!”

Emily protested, trying to stand tall but failing as she was carrying her weight in eggplants. Mrs Dickinson stopped dead in her tracks and turned towards her daughter, who struggled to keep her balance, caught off guard by the sudden motion.

“Stop that nonsense immediately! Your father has been lenient with you, but he will not tolerate such behaviour now that you’re older. You know what, go home and start preparing those vegetables for tonight’s soup.”

“But mother, you said if I came out with you we would stop by the librar-“

“No buts, Emily. And no library until you let go of this poetry notion. Let’s go, Lavinia.”

Mrs Dickinson turned away from her daughter and started walking. Lavinia followed quickly and quietly, giving Emily a sympathetic smile as she passed her.

Emily sighed dramatically, hoping her mother could hear her, but started to make her way home. She was still carrying her basket, clutching it in front of her with both hands as it was too full to hold normally, when her eye caught something. She smirked, quickly examining her surroundings. It was all clear.

She sneaked into the library, feeling like a criminal who just escaped her captor. She made her way to the literature section, trying not to draw any attention to herself. Which wasn’t all that easy considering she was a fourteen year old girl carrying eggplants in a library. But fortunately the shop was half empty, and Emily found a way to balance her basket between the shelf and herself as she examined the books.

“ - This is very midsummer madness. - ”

A voice came from somewhere behind her, startling Emily and causing her basket to drop.

“Oh shoot!”

Emily knelt immediately to try and save the vegetables her mother had carefully selected.

“I’m so sorry, I just saw you were looking at _Twelfth Night_ and-“

Emily looked up. A petite girl, about her age, was now kneeling in front of her, handing her a perfectly shaped if a little bruised eggplant and looking at her with sad, apologetic eyes.

“You know Shakespeare?”

“Not personally.”

The girl replied with a playful smirk.

“ - Brevity is the soul of wit. -”

The two girls smiled at each other. Emily opened her mouth to speak again but a voice calling out caught the girl’s attention. She turned towards it, standing up. Emily mirrored her actions.

“Susan, let’s go!”

A young woman called out from the entrance of the shop. The girl gave Emily a small smile, before turning and walking away.

“Susan…” Emily whispered, watching her go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- This is very midsummer madness. - is a quote from Shakespeare's Twelth Night, I hope that is clear enough in context! And - Brevity is the soul of wit. - is of course from Hamlet. These two clever ladies recognise another clever lady when they see one.


	2. "Now you know me."

Emily found excuses to go into town again for the following couple of weeks, accepting and even offering to accompany Mrs Dickinson on her errands.

Her mother was surprised to say the least. The first time Emily asked if she could go to the pharmacy with her, Mrs Dickinson thought it a trick. But Emily behaved well, carrying her mother’s bags and doing her best to pretend to be interested when she started listing all the duties of a good housewife.

In reality, she was giving up that precious time she could have used writing in the hopes of seeing Shakespeare girl again. _Susan_ , she reminded herself, as the woman had called her. She had never met another young girl her age with an interest in reading. All her classmates ever wanted to talk about were boys and bonnets. And they didn’t want to talk about them to her, anyway. Which she was okay with, she didn’t find any of them interesting, either. But as much as she enjoyed being alone with her poetry, she had to admit to herself, she was starting to feel a bit lonely. The thought of having a friend to share her thoughts and books with was thrilling.

But almost a month had gone by and she had not seen or heard of the girl again. She was starting to think she had wanted someone to talk to so much, she must have made her up.

Having come to this sad realisation, she sighed into her dinner plate. She was moving her food around, not feeling hungry, when something Austin said caught her attention. She looked up at him.

“What did you just say?”

Austin looked annoyed at being interrupted, but he repeated himself.

“I said I met the fairest of ladies today. I might even make her my wife one day.”

Mrs Dickinson almost audibly cheered at the thought whilst her husband only chuckled dryly.

“Slow down there, son. You are only fifteen after all.”

“After that.” Emily interjected, “What did you say after that?”

“A group of friends and I were invited for an elegant afternoon tea at Jane Humphrey’s-”

Emily scoffed. She knew _elegant afternoon tea_ most likely meant teenagers smoking tobacco and drinking Jane’s parents’ alcohol. Austin glared at her as if reading her mind.

“-where I met the lovely Susan Gilbert. She is visiting here from New York.”

“Will you see her again?”

Emily asked, eyes on her plate and feigning disinterest while she took a bite of her food. No answer came and when she looked up, she saw her whole family looking at her as if she’d grown a second head. Come on, it wasn’t that strange for her to ask her brother about his life- okay, maybe it was.

“I mean, if she’s going to be your wife and all, might as well get to know her better.”

Mr Dickinson hid a laugh, pretending to use a napkin to cover his face. Austin simply ignored her mocking tone.

“I haven’t had a chance to make arrangements. Still, I inquired with Jane and she said Miss Gilbert will be going back to New York soon, anyway.”

Emily tried to hide her disappointment. The conversation shifted back to Austin’s horse and she went back to tuning it out.

A couple days later, Emily was begrudgingly fetching water for the family, on her mother’s orders, when she heard some rustling coming from the nearby trees. She didn’t make much of it, thinking it some passing animal, but when the wooshing didn’t stop, but only got stronger, she held her empty water buckets in front of her, as if to defend herself.

“If you’re a rabbit – show yourself”

She commanded the woods, making her voice as authoritative as she could muster.

“If you’re a wolf… don’t?”

She mentally berated herself. The woods, on their end, laughed at her.

It was a gentle, shy laugh, followed by more rustling and finally a small figure all dressed in black coming out of the bushes.

“Not a wolf, but I am sure that would have worked perfectly, little red riding hood.”

“…I panicked.”

Is all the explanation Emily could give.

“What were you doing hiding in the trees anyway?”

“My sister’s away for the day and I wanted some piece and quiet. I tried going into town but everybody stares. I don’t like the attention.”

The girl spoke with her head down, as if to prove her point.

“Amherst is a small town and you’re fresh meat, I’m afraid. You live with your sister?”

Susan nodded.

“Just for the summer, I’m going back to New York in a week.”

“That’s your home?”

“I don’t really have a home.”

The girl said ruefully. There was a moment of silence and Emily quickly tried to change the subject.

“You were reading?”

She pointed to the book the girl was holding. Susan looked at it in her hand as if she had forgotten about it.

“Oh. Yes! It’s called a Comedy but it really isn’t. It’s the story of an Italian poet travelling through Hell in the early 1300s.”

“He dies?”

Emily said with definitely excessive enthusiasm.

“Sorry. I just- death is fascinating.”

“Not to me.”

There was that sadness again.

“I know a place where you could read it without anyone disturbing you.”

“You do?”

“Mm-mm.”

“Where is it?”

“Ah but you see, it’s my secret hiding place. I can’t just share it with someone I don’t know.”

Emily teased. The girl smiled, a glint in her eye, as she extended her hand towards Emily.

“I’m Sue. Susan. Gilbert.”

Emily shook her hand gently.

“Emily Dickinson.”

“Now you know me.”

“I guess I do.”

The girls both smiled. Not letting go of Sue’s hand, Emily led her away.


	3. “Want to meet my favourite tree?”

“Woah. This is beautiful. Is it all yours?”

Sue marvelled, looking around the orchard.

“Yeah, my uh… my family kind of owns Amherst.”

Emily admitted, sheepishly.

“Wait… Dickinson! That’s why your name sounded so familiar. Someone said that the other day at that girl’s house.”

“Jane Humphrey?”

“That’s the one! There was a boy...”

Sue tried to recall. Emily felt an inexplicable pang in her chest, feeling suddenly annoyed.

“My brother, Austin.”

She offered.

“Was he the one who kept talking about his horse?”

Emily chuckled at that.

“That definitely sounds like Austin, yeah. I think you made quite an impression on him.”

She commented, trying to sound unaffected. Sue scrunched her nose a little.

“Can’t really say the same, I’m afraid.”

Sue replied, before recalling she was talking to the boy’s sister.

“I mean, I’ve just been meeting so many people since I got here and I-“

“Don’t worry, Austin’s not very impressive.”

Emily reassured her. They both smiled.

“Want to meet my favourite tree?”

“Sure.”

Emily watched Sue study the tree, feeling kind of nervous. Like having an old friend meet a new one. Sue finished her inspection and turned to Emily.

“You spend a lot of time here?”

Emily nodded.

“Every minute I’m not in my room.”

Sue seemed pensive for a moment.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

The word escaped Emily’s mouth before she could even realise what she was saying.

She meant it.

“Why?”

Emily was caught off guard.

“Why what?”

“Why do you spend all that time alone? I do too but for me, it is not a choice. I have no family to be with. My sister and her husband have me here for a few weeks every now and then in exchange for my help around the house and my aunt in New York, she’s kind but she’s not… I’m alone. But you don’t have to be.”

Emily had not yet heard Sue speak this honestly or this much and she had a feeling Sue was just as surprised as her at how blunt and honest she had been. She did seem a little fearful of having crossed some kind of line but she felt so comfortable talking to Emily, as if they’d known each other for years instead of days.

“I like to think. I _need_ to think.”

Emily tried to explain.

“I love my family but they’re… noise. When I’m with them I can’t listen to my own thoughts. I can’t write.”

Sue didn’t say anything and Emily felt herself panicking.

“…Oh gosh that sounds so horrible, doesn’t it? You must think I’m awful!”

“You write?”

Is all Sue said.

“I do. Poetry. I’m… I’m a poet.”

Sue smiled brightly.

“That is amazing! I would love to read something of yours one day. If you’ll let me.”

“Of course. Actually… would you be ok with prose?”


	4. "Am I yours, then?"

And thus begun Emily Dickinson and Sue Gilbert’s prolific letters exchange.

Sue left only a few days after their afternoon in the orchard. Emily actually saw her carriage pass, waving at Sue, who smiled at her through the window.

School started and both girls dedicated themselves to their studies, comparing their lessons in their letters and discussing the great writers of the past. Every time a new envelope would come for Emily in the mail, Austin would either feign disinterest or swallow his pride and begrudgingly ask his sister to mention him in her next letter. She never did.

Until one day, unexpectedly, Sue did. She asked Emily if she had given her brother the girl’s address, as she’d received a letter from him. Emily realised Austin must have gone through her things to get it. The nerve of the boy! She had finally found a friend for herself, why couldn’t he just let it be?

She explained the situation to Sue, apologising profusely. Sue said she didn’t mind. To Emily’s surprise and somewhat displeasure, she replied to him. A shorter, more formal letter but still Emily felt her brother had cheated somehow, and his satisfied grin when the letter came did not help.

Even so, Emily did not let this diminish her happiness. She had finally found someone she could talk to. Sue wasn’t made up, she was even better than that. She shared Emily’s interests, she listened to her without judgement and supported her writing completely.

So when Sue mentioned that her aunt was going away for Christmas and her sister and her family were too, she did not have to think twice before inviting her to spend it at the Homestead with her and her family (Austin’s support of the invitation did help convince her parents).

Emily was in the kitchen chopping carrots, mentally counting the days to Sue’s arrival a few weeks later, when she heard her mother and father discussing something in the next room. A mere moments later, her mother walked into the kitchen with a preoccupied look on her face.

“What is it, mum?”

“It’s a tragedy, Emily, a true tragedy, I don’t know what I am going to do.”

“What happened?!”

“A pipe burst in our guest room.”

“…A pipe burst? That’s the tragedy?”

“Oh dear, do you know what that means for the house? The humidity alone, I can’t even think of it. And your friend will not be able to stay with us over Christmas, of course.”

“What?!”

Tragedy suddenly seemed an appropriate word.

“But mother I already invited her, I gave her my word, it would be impolite to take it back now. _Unladylike_ , even.”

She insisted on that last part, hoping to tug on the right chords. Her mother did seem troubled at the thought.

“True as that may be, how do you suppose we could host her with no spare room?”

Austin popped his head in from the hallway. He had clearly been eavesdropping.

“She can stay in my room!”

“Austin! How could you even suggest something so improper!”

Their mother shivered at the thought.

“I was only joking.” He wasn’t.

“She could stay with me!” Emily suggested, “She can sleep in my bed and I can make do with some blankets and sleep on the floor.”

“You would do that?”

Her mother seemed unsure. She considered it for a beat, then shook her head.

“Still, it would not be very courteous to accommodate someone in such a manner.”

“Okay, how about this: I write to Sue and explain the situation, and if she’s okay with this arrangement, she can come. Deal?”

Sue arrived on a cloudy morning, a couple of days before Christmas. Emily was impatiently waiting at her window and she ran down the stairs as soon as she saw the carriage approach their house.

“Emily, behave!”

Her mother admonished her from where she was already standing at the end of the stair, ready to great their guest, with Lavinia standing beside her, a purring cat in her arms. Austin made his way down the stairs, adjusting his hair and straightening his jacket. Emily rolled her eyes and went to open the door. The driver had just finished unloading Sue’s suitcase. He got in the carriage and rode away. Sue turned to the open door, smiling when she saw her friend.

“Emily!”

Emily walked to her – almost ran, actually – but awkwardly stopped in front of her once she reached her. They had been exchanging letters for months now but they had only really hung out once before. Still, were it not for stupid social conventions and proper behaviour, Emily would have hugged her right then and there. And there was something in Sue’s bright smile that told her she would have, too. Instead, she just reciprocated with an even bigger smile, and led her inside.

“Sue, this is my mother and my little sister Lavinia. This is Miss Susan Gilbert.”

“Hello” Lavinia greeted briefly, distracted by her cat who was now attempting to leave her steely grip. Sue gave her a smile before turning to Emily’s mother.

“Pleasure to meet you, Mrs Dickinson. I cannot thank you enough for your kind hospitality.”

“Nonsense, dear, any friend of Emily’s is welcome here.”

“Not that she has any.”

“You remember my brother, Austin.”

Emily said with no enthusiasm whatsoever.

“Miss Gilbert” Austin made a show of taking Sue’s hand and lightly kissing it.

“Good to see you again” Sue replied, a little embarrassed.

“Let me take that for you” Austin took Sue’s only suitcase off her hands and turned towards the stairs. Emily rushed in front of him reaching for the suitcase as well.

“There is no need, I can take it up to my room”

Austin yanked the suitcase back from his sister.

“Nonsense, I am the man of the house, it is my job to make sure our guest-“

“ _my_ guest”

“-gets in comfortably”

“and since when are you ‘the man of the house’ anyway?”

“What is all this noise?!”

An angry Mr Dickinson walked out of his study, standing tall and looking at his children sternly and expectantly. Emily and Austin where frozen in space, Sue’s case hanging in between them. Emily looked at Austin and let go of the suitcase. She turned to her dad with a soft smile.

“I’m sorry, dad. May I introduce you to my friend, Sue Gilbert?”

Sue, who had been trying to turn invisible, wasn’t too happy about being called out but she did not show her discomfort as she politely greeted Mr Dickinson. The actual man of the house, seeing Emily’s eager eyes and his wife’s crazed stare begging him not to exacerbate the situation, welcomed their guest.

“I hope you’ll not let this childish display hinder your visit, Miss Gilbert.”

“I’m sure it will not, sir.”

With a last disapproving look to his kids, Mr Dickinson retreated to his study, leaving the rest of the family to deal with an awkward silence and uncomfortable stares.

“I’ll show you to my room.”

Emily stated, making her way up the stairs with Sue in tow, and Austin right behind them with her suitcase. Once they reached Emily’s room, he simply left it at their feet, bidding them goodbye.

“For the moment”, he clarified.

The girls walked in, Emily closing the door behind them with a long sigh.

“I am so sorry. Are you regretting this so much already?”

Sue laughed, seeming comfortable for the first time since her arrival.

“Not at all. It might sound strange, but I actually liked seeing you be a family, warts and all.”

“Austin being the wart in this scenario.”

Sue chuckled again.

“Do you really not get along?”

“Yes.” Sue gave her a look. “…No. I don’t know. He just has this annoying habit of taking everything that’s mine.”

Sue raised her eyebrows.

“Am I yours, then?”

She asked with a smirk.

Emily reddened, suddenly at a loss for words, which did not happen too often. Or, at all.

“That’s not what I meant, I just- you’re my friend – my _best_ friend. I don’t want him to come in between us.”

Sue smiled at her with a glint in her eyes which Emily couldn’t quite decipher.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about that.”

When Emily walked into her room that night after having changed into her nightgown, Sue was in her bed already, reading. Emily took a couple blankets and pillows from a nearby chair and laid them on the floor, next to her desk, climbing inside.

“What are you doing?”

Sue looked up from her book, puzzled.

“Going to bed.”

“On the floor?”

“Well, I’m obviously not having _you_ sleep on the floor, so, yeah.”

“Don’t be silly, you can sleep in the bed with me.”

For some reason that idea made Emily’s stomach suddenly flip.

“No, I can’t, my mother wouldn’t let me hear the end of it, ‘you’re a disgraceful host, Emily Dickinson’. Besides, it’s a small bed.”

“If you’re sure…”

“I am sure. Goodnight.”

Emily got under her covers on the floor and turned away from Sue.

“Night.” Sue put her book down on the nightstand and extinguished the candle on it.

Only a few seconds passed before a rustling sound started coming from the floor of the room. Emily kept moving relentlessly from one side to the other, switching pillows and trying to find a comfortable position.

“…You want to come in the bed with me?”

Sue tried to hide the amusement in her voice.

“Fine.”

Emily conceded, defeatedly. She got up and made her way to the bed. Sue moved to the side as she climbed in. Emily laid perfectly still, eyes trained on the ceiling, clutching the covers to her chest.

“Emily?”

“Mm?”

Emily turned. Sue was lying on her back, looking at her.

“You’re my best friend, too.”


	5. "Will you promise me something?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily finally gets to spend some time with Sue but it doesn't go exactly as planned.

Emily didn’t really sleep that night, too acutely aware of Sue’s presence next to her. But when her friend started waking up, she quickly closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep as to not get caught staring at her. Like a maniac.

Sue stretched a little and then turned to the girl sleeping next to her.

“Emily?”

Emily made a show of slowly opening her eyes, going so far as to even fake a small yawn. And her mother said she couldn’t act.

“Good morning.”

Sue put her hands together under her own head and smiled at her, and Emily smiled back.

“Morning. Did you sleep well?”

She nodded.

“I actually did. I usually have nightmares, especially when I’m in a new space but I guess I felt safe with you there.”

Emily felt her heart swell.

“Maybe you should sleep here more often.”

“Maybe I will.”

They stayed silent, smiling at each other, studying each other’s faces. It was a comfortable silence, like nothing needed to be said, they could just enjoy each other’s company.

That is until a loud knock on the door shook them out of their reveries.

“Emily! Mother needs our help to prepare breakfast!”

Lavinia said cheerfully. Emily rolled her eyes, dramatically falling back into bed, Sue laughing at her side.

“So, Susan what are you and Emily doing today?”

Mr Dickinson politely asked while he and his family, minus his son, were having breakfast.

“They will be helping me prepare for tomorrow’s Christmas lunch, of course.”

His wife responded before the girls had a chance to.

“Actually, mother, I was hoping to visit the Christmas fair with Sue. She has never seen it after all.”

Mrs Dickinson was about to object when Austin made his entrance.

“Good morning, family. And good morning Sue. I trust you slept well?”

He asked as he went to sit next to his father and in front of Emily.

“I did, thank you.”

“I hope Emily didn’t bother you too much with her night writin-“

Emily kicked his shin under the table, cutting him off. She gave him a look. Austin saw their father’s expression and understood.

“-snoring. I hope her snoring was bearable.”

Mr Dickinson was still glaring at his daughter, but he seemed to decide to let it go for the moment.

“Well, this was fun, but we should get going.”

“Emily, did you not hear me? I need you here.”

Already standing, Emily turned to her father, pouting. Mr Dickinson looked at his wife.

“Perhaps you can spare the girls for the morning, dear?”

“…I suppose.”

Mrs Dickinson allowed, peeved but unable to go against her husband’s wishes.

“Yay!” Emily jumped a little while Sue started to put her napkin down and get up.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“We’re going to the fair.”

“I’ll come with.”

Austin stood up immediately.

“Why?”

“Because… I love the fair.”

“You didn’t even have your breakfast yet.”

Austin looked at the scone on his plate. He took it in one hand and put it all in his mouth.

“I have now.”

He said, crumbs going everywhere.

And so, there they were. Emily, Sue, Austin and Lavinia, who Mr Dickinson suggested go with them, awkwardly and silently walking through the fair booths together. Austin cleared his throat.

“So, Sue… have you ever been to a fair before?”

“Yes, of course. I was just in one in central park last week.”

“Right… right.”

The silence was just about to set in again, but Sue decided to throw Austin a rope.

“I’ve never really seen much of Amherst though, I am glad to have the chance now.”

“You’ll see it plenty when you marry Austin.”

Lavina said. Austin almost tripped, Emily barely held back a snicker while Sue looked at the boy with confusion. Suddenly, a high pitched voice and its owner found their way to the group.

“Austin! Oh, Austin!”

Jane Humphrey made her way to the Dickinson’s, Abby and Abiah in tow as always. Austin was grateful for the distraction, be it an undesired one.

“I’m so happy you came!”

“To the… town fair?”

“Why, yes silly! We are having a small drawing contest near the woods. Whoever wins will get a special Christmas gift.”

There were more eyelash action and low syllables in those sentences than there needed to be.

“Um, thank you, Jane, but my guest Susan, here-“ Emily rolled her eyes, “-really wanted to see the fair, and I’d hate to disappoint her.”

“I will join your contest!”

Lavinia offered, happily. Jane’s eyes landed on her, noticing her for the first time, visibly less excitedly. 

“I suppose…”

“Great, you get a Dickinson after all! Be careful, Vinnie. We’ll see you back here in an hour.”

Jane left with Lavinia, glancing back at Austin disappointedly. He turned to the girls.

“Shall we go shoot some cans?”

Emily was sitting in front of a booth with her head in her hand, Sue next to her. Austin was shooting cans, as he had been for the past twenty minutes.

“This isn’t exactly how I imagined today would go.”

“What did you think it would be?”

Sue asked.

“I thought we could have a look around the fair and then sneak into the woods. Nobody’s there when it snows, they’re incredibly peaceful and beautiful. There’s a small pond not far from here. I even thought we might try to skate a bit.”

“Sounds like I may have avoided death by hypothermia.”

“Oh ye, of little faith! The lake is perfectly safe, I go there every winter. When it’s not closed down because of all the people drowning.”

Sue raised her eyebrows.

“I’m kidding!”

They laughed a bit.

“YES! I did it!”

Austin celebrated with both his hands in the air, including the one still holding the shotgun. The booth owner rushed to take it from him, offering him a flower bouquet, his price, instead. He walked up to Sue.

“My lady”, he bowed, handing her the flowers.

“Austin… thank you.”

He offered her his arm and she hesitantly took it, looking back at Emily when she stood up, pulled up by Austin. Emily crossed her arm, puffing away before standing up to walk with them.

That afternoon in the kitchen, Emily kept pretty much to herself as her mother taught Sue and Lavinia how to prepare a full Christmas meal. She felt Sue glancing at her from time to time but she never looked up, focusing her energy on whatever task her mother had given her at the moment.

Dinner went pretty much the same way, she nodded here and there as her brother and sister recounted the day at the fair but didn’t really participate. She excused herself after dinner and went up to her room. She heard Sue doing the same a few moments later.

When Sue entered the room, Emily was already in bed, back turned to her friend. Sue silently changed into her nightgown and climbed into bed as well.

“Are you… are you mad at me?”

She asked softly.

“No.”

“Emily…”

Sue tentatively put her hand on Emily’s shoulder, lightly nudging her so she’d turn towards her.

“What is it? What did I do?”

Emily saw the deep worry on her friend’s face and she turned fully, resting on her elbow.

“It’s nothing, it’s just… I thought you came here for me.”

Sue’s eyebrows furrowed.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… Austin likes you and if you like him too, that’s fine.”

“I don’t like Austin.”

“You don’t?”

“I mean, he’s nice and kind of funny in his own way, but I don’t _like_ like him if that’s what you’re asking.”

“So you don’t want to marry him and move to Amherst?”

Emily teased, feeling a little better. Sue chuckled lightly, recalling what Lavinia said that morning.

“What was that about anyway?”

“The day he met you, he said he’d marry you.”

“I have no say in the matter?”

“I don’t think so, no.”

They laughed a little together, then Emily turned more serious, looking her in the eyes.

“Will you promise me something? Promise we’ll never get married. We can just grow up and become great writers. Together.”

Sue smiled at the thought.

“I would like that.”


	6. "Merry Christmas"

“You really scared me last night.”

Sue whispered. She and Emily had been awake for a few minutes, chatting in bed before having to get up and face the day.

“I thought you didn’t want me here anymore. I thought you were sending me away.”

Emily turned to her, sitting up a bit.

“Sue, I wouldn’t.”

“I’ve lost so many people, Emily… I can’t lose you, too.”

Sue looked vulnerable and honest, her eyes seemingly sad beyond her age.

“You won’t. I promise you won’t. I’m sorry I scared you.”

Sue didn’t say anything. She studied Emily’s face for a bit. She must have found what she was looking for, because she gave her a small smile before turning away and leaving the bed.

“Oh, and Sue?”

The girl turned around. Emily smiled widely.

“Merry Christmas.”

When the girls came down the stairs, Lavinia was already sitting on the ground, ripped paper lying all around her.

“She does this every year.”

Emily explained.

“Anything for us?”

Lavinia handed her something folded.

“Mom got you this apron.”

“Thanks for pre-opening it for me.”

The little sister simply shrugged and started taking all her new possessions in her arms to put them in her bedroom.

“Dear Sue.”

Austin came up behind the girls, holding a small box in his hand.

“Merry Christmas.”

It contained a simple silver bracelet.

“Austin, thank you so much. I… I’m so sorry, I haven’t gotten you anything.”

“Your presence here is a present in itself.”

He grinned as he tied the bracelet around her wrist. Sue smiled timidly, glancing at Emily, who was pretending to busy herself cleaning up Lavinia’s papery mess while obviously watching the exchange.

Sue escaped Austin’s heart eyes when she saw Mrs Dickinson walk into the living room. She quickly grabbed something from under the tree and offered it to the woman.

“Mrs Dickinson, this is for you. I do apologise, I thought I had wrapped it…”

She was holding a ceramic saucer with an image of New York painted on it.

“I have a feeling Lavinia might have something to do with that. Thank you Sue, it’s wonderful.”

“Just a small thank you for letting me stay here.”

“No need for any more of that. But you girls can come help me in the kitchen after you’re done with breakfast.”

The Christmas lunch was, of course, a big success – Mrs Dickinson wouldn’t have had it any other way. Even Austin and Emily attempted to bury the hatchet, only trying to embarrass each other while recounting childhood stories, which Sue seemed to enjoy.

The lunch ran long, the family played a little game of cards before the men went to smoke and talk politics in Mr Dickinson’s study and the ladies started to clean up.

After all the guests had gone, Emily surprised everyone by offering to tidy the kitchen so that Mrs Dickinson could go rest.

“A Christmas miracle!”

Her mother mumbled, before making her way up the stairs. Emily insisted Sue go up to the room as well, as she was their guest.

When Emily finally made her way up, she was holding two cups of hot chocolate, sneaking into the room as if she was a child stealing cookies before dinner.

“Surprise!”

She said with a grin, sitting down by the fire.

“I’ve been craving hot chocolate since it started snowing last week, best Christmas present ever!”

Sue exclaimed, going to sit in front of Emily, happily accepting the mug she was offered.

“Well then I guess I don’t need to give you this.”

Emily said casually, taking out a small envelope.

“Oh, Emily, you shouldn’t have.”

“It’s nothing, really. Quite literally, you’ll see.”

Sue opened the envelope carefully, finding in it a small, pressed flower and a piece of paper with a poem scribbled upon it in elegant handwriting.

_By homely gift and hindered Words_ _  
The human heart is told  
Of Nothing -  
'Nothing' is the force  
That renovates the World –_

Emily nervously watched Sue read her poem. She wanted to say so much and yet words could not express the way she felt. She hoped Sue would understand it. When she saw her friend smile and look up at her with teary eyes, she knew she did.

“The flower is from our garden. I know you said you don’t really have a home but this way you have a reminder that you will always have one here, should you want it.”

Sue’s smile widened, tears almost escaping her eyes before she quickly wiped them with the back of her hand.

“Thank you, Emily. Better than chocolate.”

The girls smiled for a moment. Sue reached for something behind her and handed Emily a small package, beautifully wrapped.

“I wanted to give this to you earlier but then Austin gave me the bracelet and it felt wrong to give you a present and not him.”

She explained. Emily simply gave her a small smile and carefully opened it. It was a beautiful edition of Shakespeare’s _Twelfth Night_. Inside, Sue wrote: - This is very midwinter madness. - ”.

Emily chuckled at the memory.

“You remember.”

“How could I not? It’s not often I see a girl balance five pounds of eggplants between herself and the Shakespeare shelf. It’s more of a Byron thing, really.”

“I was trying to be sneaky. My mother had sent me home to cook but I passed the library and I just could not resist.”

“Of course you couldn’t.”

Sue smiled, taking a sip of hot chocolate. Emily walked to her bookshelf and placed her gift in the most visible spot, so she could see it every time she went to pick a book. She turned to Sue, who had also gotten up and was putting their empty mugs on Emily’s desk.

“Thank you. It’s perfect.”

Sue turned towards her and burst out laughing.

“Okay, rude. I was trying to be nice.”

“No, no, it’s just- you have chocolate…”

Emily tried to follow Sue’s motions but to no avail. Sue only laughed more, walking up to her.

“Here”

She cupped Emily’s cheek softly, wiping the corner of her mouth with her thumb. Even with the chocolate gone, she didn’t stop the movement, lightly caressing Emily’s cheek, her eyes darting from the other girl’s to her mouth.

Emily cleared her throat, shaking them out of the moment. Sue’s hand quickly left her face.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

They both averted their eyes and made their way to the bed, where they found themselves lying on their backs, eyes trained to the ceiling.

Emily noticed Sue’s hand resting in between them. She slowly took it in hers, intertwining their fingers, lightly playing with them.

“Sue?”

“Mm?”

Emily swallowed, not taking her eyes off their interlocked hands.

“I love you.”

Sue stared at their hands.

“I love you, too.”


	7. "The Face we choose to miss"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The Face we choose to miss -  
> Be it but for a Day  
> As absent as a Hundred Years,  
> When it has rode away."

A slant of light creeped in through the window, waking Emily. She instinctively moved her hand around, looking for Sue’s. She was at first surprised, then panicked when she couldn’t find her next to her. Her eyes flew wide open.

Sue was travelling back to New York that morning. Could it be that Emily overslept and missed it?

In less than a second, the covers were thrown off her and she was on her feet. She put on the first dress and shawl she could find that would be acceptable enough to make her way downstairs with and all but ran there.

When she made it to the dining room, the whole family was there, having breakfast. Lavinia was sharing her cup of milk with the cat in her lap, their father was reading a newspaper, their mother rearranging the flowers on the table and Austin… Austin was just having breakfast.

“Where’s Sue?”

Emily could not hide the panic in her voice, which came out a couple octaves higher than usual.

“Right here.”

Sue came in from the kitchen, holding a tray of sweets. Mrs Dickinson smiled.

“Thank you, dear.”

Emily just stood there, staring at her friend.

“Emily, are you okay?”

She asked, sitting down. Emily shook her head, snapping out of it.

“I’m- yeah, I…”

She went to sit next to Sue.

“I thought you left without saying goodbye.”

She admitted in a whisper, when she was sure only Sue could hear. Sue smiled kindly, squeezing her hand for a moment.

“I would never.”

Emily smiled back, reassured, and they all went on with their breakfast.

The carriage for the train station was set to arrive at 9, so at 8.45 Sue made her way to Emily’s room to finish packing.

Emily sat on the bed as she ruefully watched Sue put away the last of her things.

“I wish you didn’t have to go. I wish you could stay here forever.”

Sue closed her suitcase with a pop. She turned to Emily.

“So do I. This has truly been the happiest Christmas I’ve had since… It had been a while. Thank you for reminding me what being with family feels like.”

Sue smiled, but she had tears in her eyes.

“Oh, Sue.”

Emily stood up quickly and immediately hugged her friend. Sue was taken aback. They had never hugged before. She had not hugged anyone in quite some time, really.

After a beat, she slowly put her arms around Emily and let her head fall onto her shoulder.

“I’ll miss you, Emily.”

The poet moved her head just far enough back so she could look Sue in the face. Still holding her, she lifted a hand to her cheek and gently captured a tear with her thumb.

She could not stop looking into Sue’s eyes. Sue’s kind, trusting, sad, loving eyes. And her mouth. Which was so close. Close enough to touch. So she did. With her thumb first and then with her own lips. She moved in slowly, slow enough for Sue to stop her a hundred times, but she didn’t. So just as slowly, she kissed her, unsure of what was happening but unable and unwilling to stop it.

She tasted of salty tears, strawberries and home.

After a couple seconds - or maybe it was a million years - a knock came on the door, startling both girls, who immediately jumped apart.

“Your carriage is here!”

Sue looked at Emily, who looked back at her with the same mess of confusing emotions in her eyes. Turning away, Sue grabbed her suitcase and headed for the door. She stopped before opening it.

“Goodbye, Emily.”

“Bye Sue.”

And with one last look, she was gone.

Emily watched her go down the stairs and out the front door. She ran to her bedroom window and saw Sue get in the carriage and ride away.

She sat down at her desk, wiped away a tear that had somehow fallen on her cheek and immediately started writing.

_The Face we choose to miss -_ _  
Be it but for a Day  
As absent as a Hundred Years,  
When it has rode away._


	8. "Forevermore"

A month went by and Emily didn’t hear from Sue once. She wrote her every day, different versions of the same letter, always along the lines of ‘I miss you’, ‘I’m sorry’, ‘I love you’, ‘Come back’.

She never sent any of those letters, of course. What are you supposed to tell your best friend who lives miles away whom you kissed after Christmas right before she left your life, saying “goodbye”?

A lot. And nothing. Emily did both, writing it all down and storing it away, for her eyes only.

Three months went by. No word from Sue. No word from Emily to Sue. Not any that left her trunk, anyway.

Then one day, her brother came home walking taller and looking more arrogant than usual, holding a folded piece of paper.

“What’s got you all happy like a pig in clover?”

“Like a what?”

“You know, like…” Emily scrunched her nose, trying to imitate a happy pig oinking.

“…You are weird.”

“Thanks bro.”

Austin rolled his eyes.

“Anyway, I got a letter. From Susan.”

Emily’s eyes shot up.

“Sue wrote you?”

“Why yes, she did.”

Austin replied smugly, holding his head up, knowing full well that she and Emily hadn’t been corresponding since she left.

Lavinia, who was dusting the nearby dining room and clearly listening to their exchange, popped her head in.

“But only after you wrote her like, five times.”

Austin glared at her.

“Thank you, Vinnie.”

Lavinia just shrugged and went back to dusting. Emily swallowed her pride and reluctantly asked:

“So… how is she?”

“She is good, I think. Her aunt, however, the one she lives with… I don’t think she is doing so well.”

“Oh, poor Sue.”

“Yeah, she’s been taking care of her. That’s why she didn’t respond to my letters right away.”

“…Right.”

Emily bit her tongue to stop herself from making a snarky remark. She was in the rare and unfortunate position of needing something from her brother, so she had to tread carefully.

“Did she mention me?”

Austin studied her a moment, then looked at the letter, then back to his sister.

“…No.”

He folded the letter, putting it inside his jacket and walked away.

Another three months went by. Austin kept writing to Sue, who took her time in replying, but she did. He wouldn’t admit it, but Lavinia sneaked into Austin’s room and read some of the letters when he was away and she told Emily, Sue never failed to ask about her, about what she was doing and if she was alright. Emily only wished she could ask her directly, but she understood why she didn’t. It was the same reason her trunk was filled with six months’ worth of unread words.

Sadly, her fragile emotional state was not enough to persuade her mother to spare her from her household duties. It was however possibly enough to have her hallucinate. Because she could have sworn, as she was evaluating apples, trying to find the most perfect-est for her mother, that she saw Sue on the other side of the road. She dropped the barely above average apple she was holding and rushed closer, but a carriage rode past and the young woman dressed in black that Emily saw was gone.

It happened again a couple days later. She was coming back from the well after fetching water for the family, when she saw a group of girls chatting, one of them petite, dressed in black. The girl left, but Emily recognised Jane Humphrey, so she beelined there, determined to find out if her sanity had completely left her.

“Jane!”

She almost yelled, stopping right in front of her. The buckets full of water at her sides splashed Jane and her posse a bit.

“Emily, hi.”

Jane wiped her wet cheek with a handkerchief Abiah readily supplied.

“Yes, hi. Who were you talking to just then?”

“Oh, it’s that new girl…”

“The one your brother likes- ouch!”

Abiah was quietly kicked by Abby, while Jane glared at both.

“Sue? Susan Gilbert?”

“That’s the one.”

Jane confirmed, resentfully.

“I gotta go.”

Emily didn’t even wait for them to properly say goodbye, she simply power walked away, in the direction she had seen Sue go. Her buckets still on her shoulders splashed the three girls as she left.

“Sue?”

Emily looked inside the library. The librarian shot her a warning look, seeing the precarious buckets she was carrying, and she immediately withdrew her head.

“Sue?”

She called again, looking around, to no avail. She started walking away when she heard something. Light sniffles, coming from the side of the library. She put her buckets down and followed the sound.

A small figure was sitting hidden between the walls of two houses, with her back against one, lightly shaking from crying. She only noticed Emily’s presence when she came to a stop, standing right before her.

“Emily?”

Sue looked up at her, wiping a tear.

“Hey.”

Emily leaned against the same wall, letting herself slide down until she was sitting next to Sue.

“What happened? Did Jane say something? Because I’m not afraid to hit a lady, you know. I would prefer one without bodyguards, but I think I can take Abbey and Abiah too if necessary.”

Sue chuckled a little through the sniffles, shaking her head.

“Jane was perfectly nice.”

Emily raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Sue rolled her eyes a bit.

“She was _polite_. She was Jane.”

“Okay then… what is it? What are you doing here?”

“I just moved. I live here now.”

“What? Sue, that’s amazing! Why didn’t you say anything?”

Emily asked super excitedly, realising she knew exactly why Sue didn’t tell her only after the words had already left her mouth. They weren’t talking at the moment. They hadn’t been talking for half a year.

“My aunt died.”

“What?”

“The aunt I lived with, in New York. She died last week.”

Emily put a hand on Sue’s shoulder, lightly stroking it with her thumb.

“Sue… I am so sorry. Truly.”

Sue sniffled.

“So I had to move in with my sister here. She’s the only family I have left now.”

“That’s not true. You have me. If you still want me.”

Sue looked at Emily through teary eyes. Without saying anything, she just leaned onto Emily, resting her head on her shoulder. Emily put her arm around her in an awkward side hug.

She let Sue cry for a bit. When she felt better, she lifted her head away from Emily’s chest and wiped the tears off her face, standing up.

“I have to go. My sister will be wondering where I’ve gone.”

Emily stood as well.

“Come to dinner tomorrow night. Please.”

Emily added, sensing Sue was about to protest.

“I don’t know, Emily. What about your family, and Austin-“

“Let me worry about them. Just say you’ll be there.”

“…Fine. I will be there.”

And there she was, eating Mrs Dickinson’s famous roast and making polite conversation. She’d glance at Emily from time to time with a small smile.

In those little moments, it was as if no time had passed. But then there were moments Emily would notice Sue’s face fall just the tiniest bit, her eyes turned down, and she could see all the hurt and suffering she was carrying and hiding from everybody else.

And it worked, nobody seemed to notice her sadness. Except Emily.

The night proceeded smoothly, everyone in the family happy to see Sue again. So happy in fact, the dinner ran quite late. It was past ten and already dark out when they finally left the dinner table.

“I really should get going.”

“It’s quite cold outside, dear. Do you have a coat with you?”

“I don’t, but it’s quite alright, Mrs Dickinson.”

“It is not alright, let me find you something…”

“I’ll lend her one, mum.”

Emily intervened.

“Want to come to my room, pick which one you’d like to borrow?”

Sue got the message.

“That would be so kind of you, Emily. Thank you.”

Emily closed the door behind them after entering her own room, starting to take coats and shawls out of her closet for Sue to pick one.

“This is a nice colour but maybe too wintery… You’d look great in this but it’s quite light… This is my favourite.” Emily stated, holding up a blue coat. “…but then I would hate to lose it if I never see you again.”

Emily commented offhandedly. Sue furrowed her brows.

“Why would you never see me again?”

“Well, I… I just thought it’s what you wanted. You haven’t written me in six months.”

“Neither have you.”

Emily looked unsure for a moment, then she put down the coat she was holding and opened her trunk for Sue to see hundreds of letters and small scraps of paper all addressed to her.

“Oh, Emily… why didn’t you send them?”

“I didn’t think you wanted me too.”

Sue realised something then. She had been so worried about losing Emily, it had never occurred to her that the other girl might share her fears.

“Of course I did. I was just… confused.”

Emily went to sit on her bed next to Sue.

“That makes two of us.”

Both girls chuckled lightly, humourlessly.

“This just seems so complicated.”

Emily smiled, a little sadly.

“It doesn’t have to be. Let’s just be… us. Emily and Sue. Forevermore.”

Sue smiled.

“Forevermore.”

She agreed. She slowly closed the space between her and Emily, kissing her softly. When she pulled away, she noticed Emily kept her eyes closed a little longer.

She got up, grabbing one of the coats the poet had left on her chair and walked to the door.

“Goodnight, Emily”

“Night, Sue.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you leave a comment, you'll make my day!


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